The Prayer of Madness

Submitting to soul surgery is one of the most foundational issues we will ever face as Christians…how far will we allow God to go in re-creating us in His image and what will we allow him to do?  Paul says, “I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless, I live because Christ lives in me, and the life I live now in the flesh, I can live because of the grace of the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.”  Again, in Philippians Paul says, “…that I might share in the fellowship of his suffering…”


In 1 Peter, we read, “Be holy, because I am holy” says the Lord.”  And later, “without holiness, no man shall see the Lord.”


What is required to be like Jesus?  What does it mean to be holy?  What does it take to allow this process to take root in our lives?


The answer to those questions lies in our attitude towards pain.  Jesus said in the gospel of John that if He is persecuted, then we, too, should expect to be persecuted in this world  for His Name’s sake.  But, outside of  worldly persecution, there is a pain that comes not from the enemy, but from our Father himself.  Jesus said, “he whom the Father loves, He chastens.”


What does the word, “chastens” mean?  On the surface, I have always taken it to mean “to discipline”.  But Mirriam-Webster Dictionary says this:


1 : to correct by punishment or suffering : DISCIPLINE; also : PURIFY
2 a : to prune of excess (as a work or style of art), pretense, or falsity : REFINE b : to cause to be more humble or restrained : SUBDUE


When I was traveling with the national touring company of The Greatest Star of All (by Lenny LeBlanc and Greg Gulley), we received video instruction on discipleship issues from Youth With A Mission (YWAM).  Among those lessons was one particular tape we were required to watch over and over again:  The Roots and Fruits of Pride.


         As I recall, the lesson was heart-breaking, pride breaking, and one of the most life-changing teachings I have ever received.  To that point, I had always thought of pride as being arrogance, haughtiness, and thinking of one’s self as being better than others.


But that teaching revealed to me that Pride is nothing more than thinking, caring, and desiring for ourselves more than we do for those around us.  It motivates us to think of our selves first…how things will affect US, move US, benefit US…and that our behavior follows suit.  


        Pride, caring only about self-comfort and convenience causes us to say to the world around us, “Go, be blessed and be at peace” without lifting a finger to make it so for them.  God forbid we should be inconvenienced by another’s need.  A prideful person is focused on his/her own suffering, his/her own cares, and is always considering how every situation will affect them...BEFORE stopping to consider how others are faring.  


        Pride says, "I am a Servant Leader!" with the emphasis on LEADER.
        Pride says, "I can't live like this...God is not being fair to me."
        Pride says, "I deserve better" when the world all around him is falling apart.


Filthy, filthy rags.


        Of course, living a life of humility, of servanthood...the life of the towel and the bowl...is not in our nature.  Yet Jesus stooped to wash our feet.  He stooped to wash our dirt accumulated through years of dusty travel down sinful roads that never quite seem to head straight in His direction, no matter how loudly he calls out to us to follow in His footsteps.  It is only when we STOP for a moment, and allow him access to our dirt, our death, our disease, that His Spirit can do the work, and the divine surgery begins.


         Surgery...we must choose to lie down on the table.  We must choose to allow our insides to be carved up, rearranged, and in some cases amputated in order to become more in Spirit and life like the One who stoops to wash our feet.

          How are you allowing the Holy Spirit access to your insides?  your character?  your heart?  your desires?   Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15:31 "....I die daily."  He is constantly laying down his life to God, and allowing his flesh to be put to death through the life-giving Spirit of Jesus.  

          If we are to be more like Him, we must do the same;  not through our "works" but through a hunger for God that outweighs all other desires and loves.  Through an abandonment to Him that says, "do what You will...I surrender All."  And, through a desperation that cries out for the knife..."make me like You, whatever the cost."  

        It is a prayer that Father God will answer with passion, love, care, and not without some pain.  He calls us to surrender to the knife if we want to go deeper in relationship and love with Him.  It must be so.  We will have our Gethsemene or, like the rich young ruler, go away sad because we possess much and are unwilling or too fearful to let go.  And such a fear belies within us a faulty trust that does not believe we are safe in the hands of God.  

         If you find yourself in such a place, ask for faith.  Jesus will provide it from his own bosom to your.  Ask for mercy, it will be poured out.  Ask for courage to hand over your heart, soul, identity, and security in complete abandonment to Him who holds your life in His hands.  

        But be ready.  Because once you have prayed the prayer of madness, "Lord do what you will, make me like You"  it's a done deal, and He will take you at your word.  You may cry out in pain, "make it stop!"  and He may relent for a while, but ever will He seek to begin the work again because He is preparing you to rule and to reign and take your place by His side in the Kingdom of Truth and Light.  And for that to occur, it requires change.  It requires spiritual surgery. 

Next time:  High Places

Tess