Rest.
This weekend I returned to Colorado Springs, and to the reunion of hearts that I have longed for. I finally was able to sleep in Hannah's bed at the Linder's and listen to Dolce the cat complain about not enough treats and attention, all the while watching Doctor Who and the PBS series Downton Abbey with Dave. I got to hug my Pastor, and the Puckett's and the Flannery's. And I got to spend quality time with a dear friend with whom I share an Oasis of rare trust.
Rest.
Father Ken has been preaching a series on Rest. What it is. What it isn't. The Rest of God. Entering in to that rest fully, even in the midst of brokenness, weakness, imperfection, and doubt.
Rest.
And this weekend, even in the midst of my own dark tunnel, I felt I moved a little closer to the Light.
I was able to see a little more clearly the shape of things both before and behind.
And I felt at rest. Real rest.
Oh, I'm still a bit anxious over what the future holds. I am still holding tightly to my dreams and visions of what could be.
But as Father Ken said today, sometimes the enemy of real Rest is the "What If's..." and now I am given the assignment to guard my heart against going back to the land of "what if" and instead, to simply live one breath at a time and, for now, stay on my face and keep crawling towards the Light I know is waiting to envelope me, when I am ready to step into it once again.
I'm not there yet.
I've been far too comfortable in the darkness.
My eyes are still getting used to the idea of seeing again.
Slowly, slowly I move forward.
But at least I know, I'm not alone in this place.
and even though it felt like it for a long, long time,
I know I never have been.
And I believe more than ever, especially after today,
that no matter what the future brings, I will not be alone ever again.
It is a rare thing to find a Pearl of great price.
I understand now what it means to be willing to sell all you have to possess it.
To make it really, really yours.
The sacrifice is worth it, after all to find
the place where my heart is truly at
Rest.
This weekend I returned to Colorado Springs, and to the reunion of hearts that I have longed for. I finally was able to sleep in Hannah's bed at the Linder's and listen to Dolce the cat complain about not enough treats and attention, all the while watching Doctor Who and the PBS series Downton Abbey with Dave. I got to hug my Pastor, and the Puckett's and the Flannery's. And I got to spend quality time with a dear friend with whom I share an Oasis of rare trust.
Rest.
Father Ken has been preaching a series on Rest. What it is. What it isn't. The Rest of God. Entering in to that rest fully, even in the midst of brokenness, weakness, imperfection, and doubt.
Rest.
And this weekend, even in the midst of my own dark tunnel, I felt I moved a little closer to the Light.
I was able to see a little more clearly the shape of things both before and behind.
And I felt at rest. Real rest.
Oh, I'm still a bit anxious over what the future holds. I am still holding tightly to my dreams and visions of what could be.
But as Father Ken said today, sometimes the enemy of real Rest is the "What If's..." and now I am given the assignment to guard my heart against going back to the land of "what if" and instead, to simply live one breath at a time and, for now, stay on my face and keep crawling towards the Light I know is waiting to envelope me, when I am ready to step into it once again.
I'm not there yet.
I've been far too comfortable in the darkness.
My eyes are still getting used to the idea of seeing again.
Slowly, slowly I move forward.
But at least I know, I'm not alone in this place.
and even though it felt like it for a long, long time,
I know I never have been.
And I believe more than ever, especially after today,
that no matter what the future brings, I will not be alone ever again.
It is a rare thing to find a Pearl of great price.
I understand now what it means to be willing to sell all you have to possess it.
To make it really, really yours.
The sacrifice is worth it, after all to find
the place where my heart is truly at
Rest.
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